lacesoutvic

blank stares, blank pages. i'll fill these blanks with blank words. the cursor will blink a million times before i finish the nothing that i have started. what words even matter? alone or juxtaposed together, just for the sake of syntax, i'll relapse and form complete sentences for my sake.

i obsessed the concept over creation, built castles in clouds instead of clay; can't you see half- way around the world from here? when it rains, worlds disappear.

excuse me and my existential crisis; i have been fretting the fine print, combing through caveats desperate to recollect if i put my life on the line and signed.

more bone than flesh, i confess - am i a challenge, more or less a few years life expectancy? i exist simply, satisfied yet self-aware of circumstance, and admittedly i am scared that i may only amount to a man who dies within these walls.

patience is not perfected but practiced as we elapse and contract, develop our craft. oh, the impact we have, our purpose and tact.

older now, aren't i? two roads diverged, and i got by.

i almost drowned a few years back that december. you were making waves before i even hit the water on a hill in hartford and elsewhere out east. it's crazy to think we never would meet if it weren't for me losing my cool and now i can't kick it, but fuck it. it's as if it we're meant to be and you were meant for me; both broken, we push it, and smile, and bullshit. sometimes i skip rocks and she sings songs. the tide turned sometime when you hit a different dialect, a different tongue, my stomach turned, lines blurred, i wanted to run or at least push myself into the pool. sink or swim, crash and burn, it's all the same, i live and learn, b

you were quiet, curled up in the comfort of your pink sheets, as you were the moment we met, and i was nervous - "we don't have to do this," i whispered intently. "but i want to." so i leaned forward and took a moment to let the tide take me, we smiled shyly and i kissed you, stumbling like a fool. you smiled anyway.

hits like controlled demolition, vertical implosion, bits and pieces of me contaminating the air and hearts and lungs of everyone around. breathe me in, toxic, abrasive, unwanted. did you mean what you said? you've always known and had what you needed but when i needed you, i was alone in pieces floored.

funnel onto the interstate, the arteries of america, to keep the blood flowing beyond the clots and the cops to keep the dream alive.